Today I went in for my 10 week appointment and found out that our baby
went home to be with the Lord.
I was driving on my way to the doctor and praying for our baby saying, "Lord,
help this little one to be strong and healthy and I pray that he will
come to know you at an early age." I felt God respond almost audibly,
"He is strong and healthy and he knows me right now because he's with
me" and I told God, "what I meant was that he would be strong and
healthy in my womb and come to know you in a few years!" But when
doctor confirmed that the baby didn't have a heartbeat I was totally at
Phil 4:7 says "And the peace of God, which transcends all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Today it would have been super easy to get angry, frustrated and
resentful, but it was God's peace that was the fortress around my mind
and heart, keeping me from going there. It's a peace that is totally
not understandable unless it is from the Lord. I tell you this not to
bring any attention to the way I handled the situation, but to show you
just how good God is and the peace that he offers you through your
hardest times. God was so tender and so gracious to me to take the
time to prepare me for the doctor's news and to ensure me that my baby
was healthy, strong and in good hands... the best hands! I think
heaven will be just that much sweeter now knowing that Kyle and I will
get to meet our little #2 too.
Just thought you'd want to know.